Open letter to Sreesanth

Dear Mr. Appam C,

Let me first summarize your effort in the IPL 2009. Two matches (you are currently in your third), eight overs, eighty-one runs, and the one wicket of Hayden who decided to take pity on you after hammering you for three sixers. [Update: you fetched Gilly too, a few moments ago.] Unlike last IPL, where you contributed with slap-evoking-tears and other entertainment, the only entertainment that you've provided this year has been when your balls have been dispatched to eagerly waiting spectators standing outside the stadium. Last I heard there are twelve people who have nominated twelve different batsmen to hit the fly cam, but in a strange co-incidence, all twelve are unanimous in predictive agreement that the hit will be made off you.

There is also an unconfirmed claim that Preity Zinta announced a cash-prize for the one batsman who will straight-drive your balls right back into yours so that she has a legitimate reason for dropping you.

In such a shituation, you ought to focus on getting your deliveries right as opposed to commenting on Ms. Daisy Bopanna. While I am tempted to agree with your assessment of Angelina Jolie's face, Daisy Bopanna isn't struggling much as an actor as you are with your radar. Her balls don't land as half-volleys every now and then, and more importantly, don't get whacked.

If there's anyone who really *is* struggling right now, it's you.